Nov 30 2008
How can the Church help Single Parents?
Single mothers in the Church are a great concern of mine. It seems that their physical needs can slip through the cracks because the Church sees them as far too big of a burden to manage. It is amazing to know that women without husbands were greatly provided for by God and His people all through out the scriptures. In our day and age widowhood is not as common as being husbandless, but nonetheless these women are without a husband, a provider and a caretaker. The new testament writes in James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
It seems easy on the surface, to visit them, but that is not what the scripture teaches. The Greek language actually makes us much more reasponsible for these members of the Body of Christ:
*Visit- Strongs #1980-Episkeptomai- to inspect, to select, by extension –to go see, Relieve, : look out, visit.
Relieve- Websters 1828 Dictionary says- To free wholly or partially, from pain, grief, want , anxiety, care, toil, trouble, burden, oppression, or anything that is considered to be an evil … Law or duty, or both require that we should relieve the poor and destitute.
James 2:14-17 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? Can faith save him? If a brother or a sister be naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit? Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.
James illustrates pure religion undefiled before God, and “works of faith” as giving to the fatherless, widows, and those in need.
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Given that we are to help take care of these women here are some ideas after having had multiple opportunities by God to minister to this special group of believers:
Ideas for addressing the needs of single mothers in the CHURCH:
Problems single mothers in the church may have include either not
knowing where to go for help, perhaps not knowing that help is even
available, or not wishing to be dependent or seeming to ask for too
much. A board position should be created to specifically address
these needs on an ongoing basis, and to create a “corporate memory”.
Additional consideration should be made to either having these
considerations be part of the job duties or a new associate pastor or
hiring a person part time to specifically do the leg work necessary
and be a contact person for the single mothers of the church. •
Legal Issues: Developing a list of names of attorneys by specialties who
will offer X amount of hours of pro bono work annually specifically for
single mothers.
Biblically speaking, this is the deacon board’s primary duty. There is no need to establish another committee or hire a man to care for these families if the church is being as Christ unto them i.e.- fatherless, the widow, and those who have need.
Acts 6:1-4 And in those days, when the number of the disciples was multiplied, there arose a murmuring of the Grecians against the Hebrews, because their widows were neglected in the “DAILY” ministration(Strongs #1248 Diakonai- Servant, eleemosynary aid. Websters1828 defines “eleemosynary” as- alms, compassion, charitable, benevolence. Given in charity, given or appropriated to support the poor.
Relating to charitable donations; intended for the distribution of alms, for the use and management of donations…). Then the twelve called the multitude of the disciples unto them, and said, It is not reason that we should leave the word of God, and serve tables. Wherefore, brethren, look ye out among you seven men of honest report, full of the Holy Ghost and wisdom, whom we may appoint over this business. But “we” will give ourselves continually to prayer, and to the ministry of the word.
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• Spiritual Needs: Mentoring program with older women teamed with
single mothers to provide sound spiritual guidance on a number of
issues (divorce, remarriage, responsibilities of motherhood, etc) and
friendship.
Amen! Titus 2:4 The aged women likewise… That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,…
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Housing Issues: Developing a list of realtors who can be used to
meet the housing needs of single mothers. These people should be
willing to help address housing issues for both temporary and more
permanent housing needs be it either rental property or purchase/sales.
Looking at different housing options available (example: Habitats for
Humanity).
Financial Needs: The benevolence committee (or a separate
budget/committee for single mothers/parents) should develop standards
for addressing the short and long term financial needs of single
mothers in the church so that there can be consistency and fairness of
meeting these needs long term. Research scripture to find out what the
Bible directs us as a church to do.
Biblically, this is the role of the body of Christ, the church, not outside agencies, realtors, lawyers, or in house committees. This is the work of the body of Christ! God never sends His people into the world looking for solutions, He calls the lost and broken out of the world with the Answer to all their problems – Jesus Christ !
Acts 2:44-47 And all that believed were together, and had all things in common; and SOLD THEIR POSSESSIONS AND GOODS, and parted them to men, as every man had need. And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart, Praising God, and having favour with all people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved.
Acts 4:32 & 34-35 And the multitude of them that believed were of one heart and of one soul: neither said any of them that ought of the things which he possessed was his own; but they had all things in common. Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as many as were possessors of lands or houses sold them, and brought the prices of the things that were sold, and laid them down at the apostles’ feet: and distribution was made unto evry man according to his need.
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• Educational needs: The church should consider specifically meeting
the higher education needs of the children of single parents in
the church through scholarship monies. The Scholarship Committee
should be directed to contact local agencies to see what programs are
already in force that could be used to help meet these needs. As many
single mothers have chosen to home school their children, funds to
defray the cost of educational materials and other educational needs
of home school children should be a specific line item of that committee’s
annual budget.
The education of a child is not the responsibility of church or the government, that responsibility belongs entirely to the parent, as ordained by God.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Parents are clearly commanded to be spending a great amount of time, dare I say, most of their time ( according to this passage) teaching their children.
Proverbs 1:8 My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
Proverbs 6:20 My son, keep thy father’s commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
The word Law(of thy mother) is Strongs #8451- (From #3384)Towrah- a precept or statute.
Strongs # 3384 is Yarah- figuratively to point out (as if by aiming the finger), to teach, archer, cast, direct, inform, instruct,…
The church is not Biblically responsible to educate the child but it should free up a single parent to do so, by properly ministering in areas it is responsible for.
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• Home Repair Needs: Efforts should be made to publicize to single
parents that More Than Carpenters is available to help with basic home
repair needs and for appliance repairs. Develop a “proactive”
program of going into these homes once a month/quarter to do preventive
maintenance not just fixing things once they are broken.
Amen! James 1:27 & 2:14-17 !!!
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• Car repairs and car needs: People interested in donating their
time for car repairs should be enlisted. In the past Ron Kurtz was
available to help, people within the church like Ron should be
recruited, and local car repair business should be contacted to be part of
this program to provide heavily discounted services. Have a ‘Car
Day” once a month/quarter to teach thing such as changing oil, tires,
checking water or battery. Have a couple(s) volunteer to help these people
with issues such as buying cars. Many of these women have never had to
face these issues on their own.
• Emotional needs: The benevolence committee should set aside money to
meet the emotional needs via counseling with Bob Montes for single
mothers and their children. Bob Montes should be contacted for ideas of
what the church can/should make available to address these needs in addition
to professional counseling.
• Address issues of how to actively engage single parent families in
being a vital part of the church family considering their special
circumstances and issues of limited resources and time.
• Insurance: Having a person(s) available to help with various
insurance options and problems that face these families. Research how
to meet insurance needs, and avoid insurance pitfalls. Advice and
review of current insurance coverage alternatives (or lack there of).
• List outside entities and agencies that can help; i.e., Christian
family counseling, Growing Kids God’s Way, singles ministry.
MOPS. Dave Ramsey Financial Counselor online
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• Check out what other churches are doing, what works, what doesn’t.
2Timothy 2:15 “STUDY” to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth
God’s inerrant word has the answer, look to it first. Not everything a “Christian” or “church”does is ordained by God, otherwise we’d all be infallible and render forgiveness and the cross as “another option”. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life!
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Child Care Needs: Teenagers, young adults, grandmothers willing to
contact mothers to see if they need occasional (and preferably regularly
scheduled) help with children so that single parents can get out once in
a while. Pay attention to special holidays and events to make sure that
children are not left out, that parents can attend adult events.
